Craigslist posters are always trying to get sex workers at discount prices. There are hundreds of posts that read basically, "Need companion to satisfy. Willing to pay your phone bill. No professionals wanted!" Rest assured, no professionals will apply. Unless they make a lot of long-distance calls. Or have a data plan in Canada.
This one is a completely awesome situation! Especially if you don't need a home during the daytime!
OK, admittedly, it's super rapey. But only between 10pm and 10am!
"Chill as hell and no drama." Precisely how I would define being pawed at all night by a stoner.
Then there's charmer, who I analysed on the Punch Drunk Sports blog: Just a nice guy willing to be roomates and establish a friendship. If you’re a lady, 20-35. (A public service, really, as women in that age range are notoriously lousy at making friends.)
Finally, we have:
I can't imagine a more convenient living situation!
You start making dinner - but Buddy has to run to (likely) meet his pot client. So you take half-cooked food, leave the residence and wait until 10pm to be let into the first poster's house.
Like this post? Try my podcast, "Dazed and Convicted". The most recent episode (#115) is:
What do you do when you live next to people whose lifestyle you disapprove of - or when you want to buy a house but it just doesn't work out? Just go on with your life? You're adorable! The answer, as always, is: Commit a terrible crime!
Listen to this (or any) on Soundcloud, at DazedandConvicted.com or anywhere else.
(You can also follow me on Twitter: @MonicaHamburg and on Facebook.)