Actual ads I have come across:

It's nice when it all adds up:

From: administration@jobsetc.ca

To: monica.hamburg@usa.net

Subject: Job Alert Automatic Email

Here are the jobs you requested from the Job Alert service using the keyword(s) "Media" "Advertising" "Marketing" "Writing".

Floor Cleaner - Vancouver - British Columbia



Sometimes one just feels so inadequate:

NEW AD - Talent/ Film/ Modelling Industry

VENTRILOQUIST fluent in English & Polish, needed for promotion.


And my all-time favourite:

Great job at Top Vancouver Retail ChainWork for a Top Vancouver Retain ChainThere is one reception/sales position left at our quickly growing business that operates locations throughout the Lower Mainland. It includes very generous compensation and a great opportunity to run or even become a parter in a location of your own. I am the owner and I work extremely long hours and am very successful. I would like an applicant who would feel comfortable about an intimate encounter with myself from time to time...perhaps once each pay period. I am in my mid-twenties and very attractive. I had a great relationship with my previous sales girl but she has moved on to Toronto. If you are cute, 18-25, and willing to both work hard AND have some fun with your boss, please reply with resume and picture to set up an interview. You will be compensated extremely well, with the option of travel. Discretion is assured. Job location is YaletownCompensation: $15/hr, plus commission, profit sharing, and travel.

I love the “once each pay period” distinction. It helps to have a clear idea of the schedule.