Your Shivering Is Our Way of Saying "We Care"

Translink (our public transit "service") used to have a recording, when you'd call for bus times, which would inform you that "walking to the bus stop" (generally located 10 blocks away from you) is considered a good form of exercise since walking is part of Canada Council of Health (or some such nonsense's) recommendation for staying in shape.

Every time I heard that I had to laugh. As a tribute to them, I would like to offer the following similar suggestions for Translink recordings:

1) "When we leave you stranded at night, remember that running from the deranged man pursuing you will burn calories."

2) "Admitting you take public transit in Vancouver teaches humility. The laughter you hear will strengthen your resolve and build character."

4) "Waiting in vain for the bus to arrive is a life lesson. When you get stood up on a date the sting will be familiar. You can thank us then."