Good Times, Good Times

Just a general round-up of some strange encounters I've had - some recent, some not so recent.

At the market:

Man in front of me at till, eyeing my cod. (That does sound perverse, but I was purchasing cod)
Me: "It's good."
Man: "Hmm. Do they have alot?"
Me: "Oh yeah."
Man: "I'll have to pick some up the next time."
I nod.
Man: "I used to catch cod."
Me: "Probably tastes better when you catch it, eh?"
Man shrugs.
Then:
Man: "I just got out of prison."

And the award for awkward segue goes to...

_ _ _

At a jazz club:

I had just heard the worst band - improvised jazz a cruel form of music to begin with. Not sure why I stuck around... A man approaches me, starts a casual conversation. Things are going OK, though he seems a bit off. Randomly he says (fanatically enthusiastic):

Man: "ASK ME WHAT I DO WITH WATER!"
Good lord, not sure if I want to know...
Still, curiosity got the better of me and I asked:
Me: "OK... What do you do with water?"
He tells me that his job is basically selling distilled water, but it's a special kind of distilling process, not like the others... etc. etc. And his pick up line to me is:
Man: "So, if you like, you can bring an empty water bottle over to my place in North Vancouver, and I'll fill it up for you."

Mmmm. That sounds hot.

_ _ _

On the Greyhound from Vancouver to LA (yes, bad idea):

I am at window seat.
A man sits down next to me.
Very quickly, he conveys to me the following:
Man: "My girlfriend just broke up with me."
Me: "Oh, I'm so sorry..."
Man: "Yeah. It really sucks. There's really no reason for me to go on anymore. You know, sometimes I just think about killing everyone and then offing myself."

Ah. So much for napping...