Put Your Money Where Your Mouth..Won't Be

Yearning to throw money at women who will never sleep with you? Tired of going to strip clubs, where there's at least a 0.5% chance* you might get jiggy with the performer? Are you a complete asshat? Well then, why not invest in a stranger's boob job?

"And remember... the best part is seeing the newly transformed ladies after the surgery when they return to the website to post pictures of the results. You can take pride in knowing that you helped her improve her self esteem and self
image!"

Well, I was considering volunteering - but now I feel so much pride, there's no need. Thanks FreeImpants.com!

And hey, if you need to earn back your money, there are loads of great ways to do that.

Are you entirely removed from reality? If so, you may have what it takes to become a Muse.

"A Muse Meant 4U’s client list is growing, and we are always on the look-out for individuals who exhibit high-caliber Muse qualities."

Or you might also consider investing in an indie film, hailed as "a recession proof investment".

So much opportunity.

*Disclaimer: Said odds of sleeping with strippers are the opinion of the author, and are in no way related to actual odds. There may, or may not be sex in the champagne room, depending on the caliber of the room and the women who work there.