Tears for Cheers
[Click here to watch the painful infomercial.]
Let's play a little game here, shall we. Please fill in the blanks for me:
- A person who would consider purchasing this product would be a _________
- An individual who would be encouraged by said product is known as a ________
Seriously, what kind of an uber-douche would see this product and think "Yeah, that'll do me good..."?!
I've certainly purchased my fair share of new-agey self-help CDs - and while hearing "You're a divine, beautiful creation" is nice, it seems somewhat disingenuous coming from a mass-produced cassette/CD. (Except in my case, where I'm sure the author was talking to me when he recorded the thing. I am special. So special. And I deserve to be happy and cherished. I am a spring earth goddess.)
Now I'm willing to admit that the encouraging words and affirmations on such CDs might somehow burrow into your brain and be helpful. But cheering - are you freakin' serious?! (Once again, I'm reminded of Rupert Pumpkin.)
In fact, when you go to The Good Cheer Company's site, you'll be able listen to some sound samples (click on the "listen now" icons) which I am convinced are modeled after the (touching but awkward) performance piece that Miranda July's character is working on in "Me You and Everyone We Know". )
But now that you've listened to these inspiring, intentional tracks, I'm certain the world's your oyster. So please feel free to step away from your computer now and make that call to the Oprah show to book your appearance.
There are so many great things on their site but I am most tickled by the fact that they have the gall to mention that Ellen DeGeneres spoke about this product on her show, as if we should therby infer that she liked it. It seems like a really pathetic, desperate way to advertise and also has a hint of wanting fiercely to deflect an insult and turn it into a compliment. (Sort of like when someone makes fun of you in the schoolyard by yelling, "Hey, nerd! Nice hat!" And you respond, "Thank you! Yes, it is my favorite hat. Glad you like it!")
As with any stupid product, we are subject to a tagline which omits some crucial words:
"Unique gifts that remind you who you really are!"
Yes, "a supreme loser".
Hat tip once again to the brilliant Infomercial Review blog for this gem. Read their hilarious post about this CD here.
