What a Douche! No, Really...

When I was growing up, it was the era of the douche. Not just because I was living Montreal, where, at times, the douches were most plentiful.

Sure, there were special kinds of "douches" there. But I speak not of them now, but of the "Massengill" commercials which managed to convincing many women in North America, in the 20th century, that there was still something "unclean" about them. Ooooh, how very "retro" of advertisers.

In case you missed these ads, they are quite special. My favorite part is that they manage to make you hurl without bring up any details about the product.

Here's just a sampling:

"Summer Breeze"



Oh, mom! I want to feel special too! If I shove something in my area, would that help?

"Bonding in the Closet"



1) I love made-up clinical names like "Effectal".
2) Seriously?! Are we to believe that this mother and daughter have ongoing conversations about this?

Mom: "What?! You neglected to tell me about this in our nightly discussion about our crotches?!"

"The Ladies Room"

1) No, sorry I still have questions. The tagline clearly attempts to answer the nagging question of "Why should anyone use this product"? but manages to come off as defensive. Clearly the question of "WTF?" had been posed to them before. "You want to know why?! Because we have to pay our bills, OK? That's why!"

2) Who's "test", is this one you speak of? I know nothing of it. Did I miss the flyer?


But if you truly want nightmares, check out the "Desc." section of this posting: