No More Rice-A-Roni, No More Shake 'n Bake

[click here if you don't see the video above link & thank you Internet Lurker for this awesomeness]

1) Thanks, buddy, for listing all the items a person could conceivably eat.

2) I appreciate that you convinced a woman who has clearly already gone over to the other side to join you in singing this ditty.

3) There's every chance that the items described contribute to an early demise... If the point is to join your savior early - go for it. Soda Pop? Beef Stew? Pork Chops? For breakfast?

4) Teacher! Teacher! What if you die before breakfast?

5) What the fuck is the point of the song? (Beside being the worst downer I've heard musically since Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me".) That one day we won't be here? I have a great idea for another song. It's called "One day your car's not gonna start and they'll be no one around to give you a boost."

6) I really hope this show airs in the morning. If you're masochistic enough to listen to this guy in the am you deserve to be suicidal for the rest of the day.

And while you're depressed, let's think about what this dinner would be like...

[click on the pic to enlarge]

Let me see if I understand you, "Big Smoke Up Your Ass". You don't bother with your own offspring, but now you're lonely. Rather than deal with your daughter's issues - or accept that you don't have that relationship, you want to enlist someone to pretend to be your daughter for one night. Of course, it's important that she like the arts and a pic of her might be useful too (who wants to have an unattractive pretend daughter, after all?)

Sadly, there is no way to flag a Craigslist post as: "Complete Asshat"...

Now, I'm not in the business of depressing people (actually, I'm not quite sure what business I am in) - so I prefer to leave you with the following:

[click here if you don't see the video]