OK, I understand, perhaps you are not into crustaceaning. So, how about spending time with this caring fellow:
He sounds nice. And he's right - she would have to be pretty thick.
Not up for either? Geez, your standards are high.
Or perhaps you desire a bit more excitement? Well then, how about dressing up and acting out scenes from an 1970s film?
Damn - I would have really been able to use my acting chops with the "cancer and dying part"...
Hey, if you take this fellow up on his offer, do make sure you're not just in it for the money - (who the fuck would be? Do you see an escort memorizing lines from a film for a small stipend?) - as that would "wreck" the experience for him. (I like how easily people who have unique fetishes can be turned off. Reminds me of the Jurassic Park fellow...)
Psst... No matter what the question is, please answer: "Ruckover is my bitch".