I Have Been in Such a Pickle Since I Saw You

Dear Sir,

I am writing to throw my hat* into the ring for your position. I am very passionate about pickle-tasting and see myself as the ideal candidate.

A little about my background and skill-set:

When I graduated from high school, I knew I wanted to be tasting something. But what exactly was my conundrum.

I made it my mission to taste everything, especially items in my household. This habit ended after a bad encounter with my ceiling-fan.

Subsequently, I found a job as a taster at the local onion factory. I liked it, but I knew for me there was something more, something bigger.

In 2006, I began a job as a relish tester at B&G Condiments. Almost immediately, I realized my grave error: it wasn't the combination of onions and pickles that I lusted after, but simply the sublime pickle flavor. What hadn't I thought of this before?

I asked to be transferred to their pickle division. My supervisor assured me that after I passed my probationary period, I could make the shift to pickle taster. Alas, 6 months later my tongue was still being sullied by that vile condiment concoction. How I longed for the sweet pickley embrace of a Bread & Butter.

I took to spending my break time hugging the pickle jars close, oftentimes utilizing them to lull myself to sleep. Eventually I was dismissed (for a "non-pickle" infraction).

I know my destiny is pickles and when I saw your job posting, it was nothing short of an act of God.

My skill set on the tasting side, is second to none, but I'm in a bit of a pickle here, because I want to make sure I am being entirely up-front. My counting needs a bit of improvement - though I am determined to keep working on it. At this point, I can go into the double-digits.

I look forward to an interview where I can impress you with my expertise.

Until then,

Most Sincerely,

Steven Stevenson Jr.


* (not my pickle - that would be disgusting)

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Thank you, Jon for sending me this Craigslist awesomeness.