It's Friday, I'm Insane

Some people are excited by Swedes. I get that - they're pretty hot.

But there's something far more titillating.

Swedish furniture.

Yeah.

Sometimes, in my apartment, I spend hours just looking at the IKEA website, saying out-loud those nonsense words like Stuga and Barnslig. Sends me into a frenzy. Mmm, I know what they're trying to make me feel with those words....

And if there's an umlaut in the name - well, hot damn, I tell you. Hot damn!

And then there's Friday nights, where I have to up the ante a bit. After all, it's Friday, ya know?

So I invite someone over. I pretend I just can't get it together.* I bought the Björkudden Table and can't assemble it. I need some help...

The only original concern was that my dog was clearly gonna be jealous. I mean, here I am having fun, and what'll he be doing...

So I got him something special too. The world's first sex toy for dogs.***


Oh, you haven't heard of this, you say? Oh, come on. You don't have to be coy.

You just wish you had thought of it.

"I did some research and couldn’t find anything like it, anywhere in the world. I decided to make it!", reveals Marco Giroto, owner of the PetSmiling company, responsible for this worldwide novelty.

Sucka! You just jealous!

_ _ _

*Like the spaz in this ad.

**Thanks so much, Rodger James, for sending me this awesomeness.

***Discovered through the Infomercial Hell Blog (So blame him.) And beware: Once you read the second paragraph in that press release (no pun intended...), about how this product works, you can't unlearn it.