Donuts, Copulation and the American Dream

Inspired by a few others (e.g.), I decided to take a look at what types of Google searches brought people to my blog.

There are of course the obvious: people looking for the city of “Hamburg” or “Sex” or “Sex” in “Hamburg”. Or “Sex with a Hamburger”. (Luckily the latter can simply go here for some hot ground-beef action.)

But, fortunately, we also have these:

"kinds of marshmallows"

Sure, I get how that happened.

"orange crush" "cough drops"

No clue.

"no underwear people"

Those poor people! Is this because we don't "take laundry seriously"?

"ablutophilia"

Ah, "sexual pleasure derived from taking baths, showers, or other modes of washing oneself". Easy, hygienic and multipurpose! Still one of my favorite fetishes.

"the davinci coed" porn

Damn, that's actually a good title! Much better than "Big Tit Mama's House".

"what dose in mean to be a bottom is man sex"

Kind of a cry for help, don’t you think?

This should be a PSA: “After communicating online with a potential playmate, young Michael looks for answers on Google. Sadly, his lack of proper spelling and grammar impedes his search - and his sex life. Don’t let this happen to you.”

"you porn one man 4ladies"

Another potential PSA: "Jerkot thought ESL (and/or Math) was for suckers - until the day he tried to find targeted porn on the internet."

"bozed woman porn"

"Tyler knew his only chance was to get her dronk..."

Now, just so you know, the people with these searches leave my blog quickly, clearly dissatisfied.

Interestingly enough, the people who conduct the following searches:

"robotspanking"

"strange copulation"

(and my personal favorite:)

"lonely crazy"

tend to stick around.

That's pretty telling.

And cause for concern.