I Feel Queasy Dot Com

The majority of the time when I see a commercial I think “You’ve got me wrong, man”

e.g.

“Nope, I wouldn’t enjoy driving a car through extremely rough terrain while a pack of leopards watch me intently.”

or

“No, I wouldn't prefer to eat something that vaguely resembles butter but is instead made from 7 essential chemical ingredients."

But the NodorO ad really takes this to dizzying new heights.



Yeah, you sure classed this thing up with the opera singing.

My favorite part is the "Or for your lover...Grrrrr" part. Oddly, that sound juxtaposes dramatically with the thought of giving a BJ to a guy whose unit smells so vile that a shower is useless. And who's now masked the rank odor with the scent of .... (what does NodorO smell like? Car Pine Tree? Pina Colada? Cinnabuns?). Because there's nothing more appealing! While we're at it, I think I'll spray some Axe Cologne on that rotting kale in my fridge. I'm sure it'll be safe to eat then.

I’m glad they changed the website to ISmellPerfect.com from their original url: MyStenchHasRepulsedWomenTheWorldOver.com

I think the saddest part might be the act of someone typing the ironic “ISmellPerfect” statement into their browser knowing how untrue that is. Much like a severely depressed person in an under-lit and grubby apartment being forced to type in the words “I’m a happy camper”.

And then we have the product's inventor who is clearly delusional, not just because he seems to think this cream is a good idea (you know, as opposed to the guy seeking treatment for this persistent fungal condition), but because he's trying to pitch his life as a reality show.

From a press release where he asks for financing/support etc. for his idea:

"Imagine 'The Apprentice' meets 'Entourage'. It would show my 3 best friends and I in a house, and our day-to-day business and private life. Business meetings, conference calls, running errands, dating life, coffee shop moments, happy hours and Martinis and all of my struggles to grow my brand without financial resources forcing us to be creative and hands-on." (Note from me: Please don't use that phrase.) "The first episode would feature my first phone call to my friends who are currently unaware of this idea and the task of convincing them to do this project."

Damn, that is worth-watching-TV! Three dudes in an apartment together?! Original and exhilarating! Why is it that people who lead painfully mundane lives always think they would make for excellent television? ("I have 3 friends. We hang out some. I tell you, it's gonna be great.")

Hey, did you notice that there will be scenes involving "running errands, dating" and "some coffee shop moments"?! The network execs must be just salivating over this concept.

But the best is that the phone call asking his friends to be a part of this atrocity is to be the first episode. What network wouldn't want to bank on this? Considering there's every chance that the other guys have slightly more sense (or decency) than the NodorO man and would decline to be in a show where a large part of the action would involve NodorOdude on the phone repeatedly pitching with: "It's for men (and the women who love them) who have an overpowering genital odor, even when they've washed and - hello?"

Just to get back the product itself for a second, you should be aware that:

"[W]e recommend that you remove NodorO™ prior to getting in contact and/or being intimate with your partner.... "NodorO™ SHOULD NEVER BE INGESTED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. If you suspect that NodorO™ has been ingested, contact an emergency room or a poison control center."

Problem solved! A dead partner won't notice your odor at all! Thanks, NodorO!

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Note: I discovered both NodorO and the pitch plan via this amusing post on Esarcasm.