What Not to Watch

The New Year is coming up, a time when you're forced to take a good, hard look at your life and what you plan to accomplish in 2010.

Or you could just sit around for a bit watching porn.

In that case, allow me to be your porn Sherpa.

Here are some films you don't need to see*:

Who the fuck is fantasizing about these people?!

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You can also safety ignore those in my least favorite genre, the "porn parody".

For instance:

Come on! Does the thought of Al, Peg or Marcie getting it on make anyone hot?

For your next "Would you rather?" game** posit the following:

"Would you rather see Al, Peggy and Marcie shag or watch Mr. Roper getting serviced?"

If the person doesn't automatically start retching, leave the premises immediately.


Hey! This show was running in the 60s! If you are still thinking about any of these characters, you are almost as sad as this guy:


Sir, you are 61. Really? And you've been harboring this fantasy for how long?

This is probably the one and only time a Skymall product will come in handy.

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Remember to stay far, far away from anything with the words "weird", "strange" etc. They ain't kidding.

Think you're odd? You don't know odd:

What worries me most is that this is a series - and something tells me they weren't just building up to pigs in the other 3.

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*These pics came from AEBN, and if you click any it will take you to the film. But you don't want to do that.

**Here's an explanation of the "Would you rather"game with plenty of questions I don't (want to) understand.

For more sex/fetish insanity, see these "Lunacy" posts.


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