"I'm Talkin' To You. You Make Me Hot!"

Spend any amount of time on Craigslist and you'll be amazed by how many postings are a variation of the following:

"It's 7am, and I'm horny. Wanna come over and give me a blow job?"

Hot damn, you got it all figured it out, Casanova! I don't know if you've been reading this book or it's just intuition, but you have stumbled upon the ultimate secret: women spend hours - if not days - in front of the computer, in desperate hope of finding a random stranger they can give a blow job to.

And when these prospects are low, then they are forced to move on to other tempting solicitations.

Such as:

---

Can we have phone sex? I think you'd be awesome at it.

Simply put: No.

--


Yes! A stoned dude to wear adult diapers with! Have you been reading my mail?

--

From the "This Sounds Safe" file:

Thankfully, LA is known as psycho-free town.

--

Isn't it romantic...


Interior. Bar. Evening.

NICK is standing at the bar. He orders a beer.

DARLA approaches. 21, blond with blue-eyes, she's a knockout. Plus, she's absolutely stacked.

DARLA
I'm feeling really randy. Want to go to my place?

NICK
Do you have a Monster Truck for me to ride and a red Miata I can destroy?

DARLA
Uh... No.

NICK
Yeah, you're great but...

--

How you are unappealing. Let me count the ways.



An impotent, elderly male for casual sex play. Sizzle.

OK, I just have to get that hot fantasy of a threesome with Gary Busey and Nick Nolte crossed off my list, and then I'm game.

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