Friday, March 12, 2010

MI and My Shadow

The other day, through the contact form on my other blog, I received the following email from someone who clearly had an excellent debate with his breakfast cereal before penning me the letter.*

I present it to you, in its full glory. I also decided to read it to you - as though an audition video. (Originally I put the vid at the end of the post, after the text of the letter, but Anthony (The Zimp) suggested that it was funnier to play the video and read along with me. I realized he was probably right.)



"Hello Monica, your name sounds like someone I know, and I can see that person when I think of your name. I pret that you are him, but just incase you arn't, I give you this.

Think of me like a hybrided cow, called meow.
Take the me out of ow, and you get me.
me plus me equals, well, me.
I am me, thear for my officials who operate for me know me as MI
I am MI1, to all those who want to falseify name.
A little bit about MI first.
I work for and on behalf of MI6, MI6 isnt properley in operation yet, but when it is, fully up and running, it will be batterling against millitants such as Bath.
I currently, help fight against the Taliban.
I am partly responcible for 40 deaths up to now, and partly, partly responcible for the American capture of a town in Afganistan.
The latter two, are all by conveying counter information to the people who opperate for my and the counties agency, the Army, and the American agency, the CIA.

Your proberbly tweeting to yourself by now that I could proberbly get away
with murder if I wanted to, well the truth is that I could, but I would be
arrested just like anyone else, if I was caught.

It would be very hard for anyone to catch me tho, as I have an extreamly
enique biological make uo, and it is nearley impossible for anyone to log
ny finger prints onto a computer proberley.

Also if I really did want to kill someone, phycically, which I dont unless I am threatend or attacked, I would create what is known as a dead zone. For security purooses I am not going to put the readers in controll of this information.

More about me, I am a boy, I have brown hair, I have dark green eyes,
that sometimes change to brown, that also change to opaque granget when I
am in thinking land.

I fancy my true heart very dearley, I have just desvoverd my unique
herrotige, which consists of African, Chinese, And English.
The latter three, are what makes me who I am, buologically.
I think thear are only two people on the planet like me, and that is me
and my other half, and my heart, who is either awake wright now, or
asleep.

I just love being me so much, I love my blood, I love my skin, I love my abode that surrounds me, I love my loyal master and partly servant, my Grandad, and I love Chinese, and to an extent, black people.
I really like whear I live, I live in a village, on a suburb of a town.

Oh, yes, I cant forget Forby, my Car.

Anyway, if you would like any information abour me, or about the Government, under the freedom of information act, feel free to contact me.

Thankyou Monica."


---

*In case you think this letter was intended as a joke, I wanted to mention that I looked up the email it came from and found the guy. From what I read, this letter seemed fairly congruent with his personality.

I also wanted to mention that I have a post on Zug.com, "Riding Transit with A Mannequin". (If you were at "Interesting Vancouver" in October, you might have heard me give this as a talk. And if you're a long-time reader, you may recall my post in 2007 about the same incident.)