Monday, July 5, 2010

Geez, Tom, Check Out The Cans on that Collie!

I was searching for a sexy female boxer photo on iStock for a blog post and was presented with the following:


I just don't swing that way, iStock

Creepily, iStock required some clarification as it automatically checked the box above...  

Later, I searched for "Sexual Issues" and received the following result:


"Yeah, that cat was looking right into my eyes when she cleaned herself... I knew what she was thinking, and damned if I wasn't thinking the same thing!"

On second thought, perhaps the "Sexual Issues" tag is fitting.

I also came across the following sensitive portrayal of erectile dysfunction.


"impotence" by " -ilkeryuksel-"   


Well, clearly some people are better suited for each other, like this couple:

Description: "young sexy couple at the slaughter house enjoying each other's company"

I like the "enjoying each others company" part...


Then I discovered how difficult (and unerotic) the realization of a popular fantasy could be:



Candie: "I don't mean to be rude, but you and I have been making out for an hour and he hasn't even looked our way... I thought the Craiglist ad said you guys wanted a threesome..."

Sarah (whispering): "I'm so sorry... Ever since Marcus got that new mirror, he won't stop staring at himself.  It's actually kind of disturbing me.  I put up that Craigslist ad in the hopes that it would distract him.  But I guess it isn't working.  I think he's mesmerized by his own reflection."

Candie: "Yeah, I've been there. I've dated actors before too."


OK, so that threesome wasn't very arousing, but perhaps I could temp you with this pic:


Description: "Young man is OK, and he actually enjoyed that a lot.
His face just desaturated to give him the dead look."

I am concerned about the reason the photographer felt the need to clarify that...

I have a vision of his inbox overflowing with emails like this:

Subject: YOU SICK FUCKUR!!!


Necofilia is nut cool?! U shud no that by noww but you clearly donut!  

I hope %50 of your women suffers genital herpes.  


--
If odd descriptions amuse you, you might want to see the one in this post.

And if you haven't checked out Bad Stock Art you should. It's a treasure trove of odd iStock search results.