Perhaps We Need to Discuss Your Sanity...

Oftentimes on eBay (and Etsy), a seller describes the item as a "conversation piece".

What they seem to be missing is that this is not a bonus if it inspires the opening line:

• "You appear to have horrible taste."
  
• "What the fuck is wrong with you?" 
  
• "You're seriously freaking me out and I'm going to go stand over there."

Let us envision some of the possible discussions that might arise based on these products, touted as conversation pieces:

 4 $1 Bills!

Logical conversation:

"Hey, did you just spend $10 plus shipping on something that's uninteresting and, in essence, worth $4?!"
"That's right."
"You're a fucking knob."


A Crooked Jar!

 Your friends must love to talk if this inspires them. 

Or perhaps their standards of what constitutes "a find" is markedly low.

Let's contemplate how this fascinating discussion might go.

Friend: "Holy fuck, is that...?!" 
You: "You got it."
Friend: "No fucking way!!! It just can't be!!!"
You: "Dude, it totally is."
Friend: "Seriously! Seriously?!"
You: "Yip."
Friend: "You found a used, crooked square jar?! You fucking did?! I'm fucking beside myself, Man!!!"

Colon Talk

I'm getting pretty creeped out thinking about the person who would display this in their home.

"So... uh...."
"Hey, like my colon irrigator?!"
"Yeah, I... uh, wondered if that's what that was."
"Wanna talk about it."
"Nope."
"C'mon."
"I... uh. No."
"How about we play with it?"
"I'm gonna get the fuck out of your apartment right now."
"This happens to me alot."


Was that not disturbing enough?  How about:

Horse and Candy!

Let's just look at the seller's larger picture, shall we?

Convo:

"Uh, Dave, did you actually brain-damage a horse until he was willing to hold your candies for you?"

"That I did, Steve. That I did."