Nothing's Gonna Change My Hots for You

There are always those special moments you remember.  Like where you were when you read about a man with the hots for a picnic table or of he who succumbed the exotic appeal of the car wash vacuum...

Here are some more unforgettables...  

(click above to read article)

Of note:

"An Ohio man charged with abusing a corpse told investigators that he did not know the woman was dead when they were having sex"

Jesus, dude, how bad are you? How accustomed to women lying immobile during your thrusting have you become?

No idea if the next one is true since I can't find a legit collaborating source, but what the fuck..:

(click above to read article)

What's truly disturbing is that I actually spent 15 minutes trying to find proof that this article was true.  A quarter of an hour searching variants of "sex with cabbage". Time well spent, indeed.

(click above to read article)

Begins:

"A man was arrested in Sarasota, Fla., after he allegedly stole a copy of Sports Illustrated from the shelf and pleasured himself in the store's toy section."

and continues with:

"the man 'ejaculated onto the floor and wiped his hand on a toy...'”

Of note:

"A police source told The Smoking Gun the dirtied toy was a Star Wars lightsaber, and the magazine was a Sports Illustrated with Brooklyn Decker on the cover."

Because that's pertinent and essential information.

 

(click above to read article)

 Of note: 

"Gary had wounds to his head, right shoulder and hip. But even though he was bleeding, he had sex with Henderson before they both fell asleep."

Kudos buddy, kudos. For some encountering the fury of a psychotic woman along with the pain of several knife wounds might dampen their libido - but not you...