Does Elmer Fudd Shop at Safeway

Inspired by You Suck at Craigslist, I decide to take another look at what keyword searches lead people to my blog.

Here are my favorites:

"dose women like fuck there back"

An alternate title for my blog. Thank you.

"pervert hours in hamburg".

What hours are these? I need to book my flight!

“joe pesci look alikes”

Crap. I knew I should have put more makeup on.

“light brown anime porn" 

I hate those grey-scale ones.

"everybody needs good manners"

I don’t tend to feel sorry for people who find my blog. But my heart does go out to the person who Googled that and got my site.

"girls masturbating with random items" 

I can’t imagine this guy was too satisfied either.

"vaginal bleaching" 

Shut the fuck up, this doesn’t exist, does it?! Oh noes...

"strangling him during sex"

Glad I could help.

"im planning your murder blogspot"

Holy shit.

"social friends fuck network"  

Admittedly, I haven’t seen the movie but I still don't care to envision a porn parody inspired by it.

"porn for the enlightened" 

Thank goodness we have something that can show us the way!

"psychiatrist fucks teen girl while her parents wait outside, free" 

That is a specific scene preference. Shouldn’t one be willing to pay for such specialized content? … Or do they mean they the psychiatrist fucks the teen girl for free?  Talk about a deal.

"mother sex porno mows"

Can we just try to imagine what this guy was looking for? I see him wanting a MILF mowing her lawn naked.

"she mows naked" 

Uh, WTF?! I was right?!

This final one just blew out the bolts straight out of my head:

"is andrew dice clay one of jehovah's witnesses"

Thank you, Internet, for always asking the questions I never wondered about in the first place.

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P.S. 

1. I'm up for best Twitter User (2nd round) in the Urban Culture Conference Awards! Please vote (or vote again:)  (Select: Misc for Step 1/Category, then Twitter User for Step 2/Poll - and you'll see a list of the nominees.) 
2.  Psssst... wanna buy a shirt?! I'm working on some Your Dose of Lunacy shirts. Here's the first one:

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